 Golf book by Major Abuse, 20 Chapter's to a better golf game |
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| Abuse |
 03/13/07 6:07pm
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#1
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 Major  Group: {MOB} Posts: 607 Joined: December 7th 2006 From: Carrollton, Georgia Member No.: 2357  |
My Dear Friends:
Chapter 2- How to hit a dunlap from the rough when you hit a titleist from the tee Chapter 3- How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in the bunker Chapter 4- How to get more distance off the shank Chapter 5- When to give the ranger the finger Chapter 6- Using your shadow on the greens to maximize earnings Chapter 7- When to implement handicap management Chapter 8- Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9:00 AM Chapter 9- How to rationalize a 6 hour round Chapter 10- How to turn your 500 dollar driver into a 20 dollar fishing pole Chapter 11- How to find that ball that everyone else saw go into the water Chapter 12- Why your spouse doesn't care that you birdied the 5th Chapter 13- How to relax when you are hitting three off the tee Chapter 14- How to let a foursome play through a twosome Chapter 15- When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent Chapter 16- God and the meaning of the birdie-to-bogey three putt Chapter 17- When to re-grip your ball retriever Chapter 18- Can you purchase a better golf game? Chapter 19- Rules interpretation: "Loss of ball is penalty enough." Chapter 20- Why male golfers will pay $5.00 a beer from the cart girl and give her a $3.00 tip, but will balk at $3.50 at the 19th hole and stiff the bartender You can purchase a copy for only 169.95. Hurry while supplies last. Regards Major Abuse  |
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| M@ster of Dis@ster |
03/13/07 6:38pm
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#2
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 Colonel  Group: {MOB} Regs Posts: 1153 Joined: February 16th 2006 Member No.: 1598 Xfire: Master0fDisaster |
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| )--S@B0T--> |
03/13/07 6:54pm
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#3
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Major General  Group: Forum Member Posts: 1567 Joined: March 8th 2006 Member No.: 1631 |
That's some great stuff right there!
I really liked "how to turn your $500.00 driver into a $20.00 fishing pole!" LMAO! They sound like they would be great Christmas gifts.....I'll take two! Hahaha. |
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| flatliner |
03/13/07 7:55pm
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#4
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Major General Group: {MOB} Regs Posts: 1773 Joined: January 25th 2006 Member No.: 1553 |
My slice rivals Jackie Mason's in Caddyshack 2,.
If you saw caddyshack 2, may god have mercy on your soul. |
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| Cpt. Snot Rocket |
03/13/07 8:01pm
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#5
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 Colonel Group: {MOB} Posts: 1304 Joined: February 26th 2006 From: South Bend, IN Member No.: 1615 |
Waaaaaaay Funny! I wish this book really existed. I could use it!
Thnx for the laugh. --------------------  "The most terrifying words in the English language are; I'm from the government and I'm here to help." – Ronald Reagan |
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| MyWifesMule |
03/14/07 5:16am
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#6
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 Colonel Group: {MOB} Regs Posts: 1140 Joined: December 31st 2005 From: " Live free or die" New Hampshire, USA Member No.: 1502 |
 Im especially interested in these particular chapters. Chapter 5- When to give the ranger the finger Chapter 8- Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9:00 AM --------------------   |
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| The-Blind-Norwegian |
03/14/07 7:21am
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#7
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 Major General Group: {MOB} Posts: 1715 Joined: February 13th 2006 From: Oslo, Norway Member No.: 1588 |
--------------------   Team Barbarossa |
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| Fish |
03/20/07 7:43pm
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#8
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 PFC Group: {MOB} Regs Posts: 13 Joined: April 27th 2006 From: NE Ohio Member No.: 1721 |
Been a long time since I've signed in. Thats cracking me up, Major
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| Rush |
03/21/07 12:27am
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#9
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 Major Group: {MOB} Posts: 477 Joined: March 22nd 2006 Member No.: 1654 Xfire: savethebird |
That's too funny! This reminds me of the time I broke my favorite 7 iron due to frustration (not that I meant to break it, of course!). Ugh, bad memories of golf.
--------------------  courtesy of harrycaray |
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| Blitz |
03/21/07 5:54pm
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#10
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 Second Lieutenant Group: {MOB} Regs Posts: 432 Joined: November 22nd 2006 Member No.: 2214 Xfire: e5i50blitz |
Chapter 16- God and the meaning of the birdie-to-bogey three putt
That is the funniest thing i've read in a while. Blitz |
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| T/A6Pak |
03/21/07 9:38pm
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#11
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 Major General Group: {MOB} Posts: 3274 Joined: January 14th 2006 Member No.: 1535 |
LOL- Kind of reminds me of a ball and chain tournament a bunch of us were in. Started the tournament with long islands at 7:00 am; 8:00 still drinking long islands and all using the same club so we didn't have to search through the bad to find another one. By the fourth hole we were throwing the golf balls to the green after locking some guy in the john with our cart (almost knocked it over) lmao. By the ninth hole we were driving around stealing other golfers balls.
Apparently we did 18 holes, but none of us remember how we got back to the clubhouse or where our golf cart or clubs were.... I have to dig up those old pics..LMAO: You all know the red, glassey, bloodshot eye pics...haha Just one of those golf days.  --------------------  Signature designed by Old Man Mike Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.  |
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| Jesse James |
03/23/07 7:10pm
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#12
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 First Lieutenant Group: {MOB} Regs Posts: 152 Joined: January 19th 2007 From: Georgia Member No.: 2708 |
Very funny but don't let the Major fool you. He's as deadly with a set of golf clubs as he is with a rifle. Word!
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| DirtyHarry |
03/25/07 11:37am
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#13
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 Major Group: Forum Member Posts: 795 Joined: February 26th 2005 Member No.: 1089 |
omg, thats funny stuff. I love golf and play on the team at my schoool and i can relate to a lot of those chapters. HAHA
-------------------- John 3:16 For God so loved the world he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
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