For Nothing, Congratulations! Options

[Cpt. Snot Rocket]

Doctor: Well, ma'am it seems your pregnant. Congratulations!
Woman: Wow! I knew it! He's been wanting a child for so long now.
Doctor: Who has?
Woman: Nothing.
Doctor: Huh! Well anyway, who should I put down as the childs father?
Woman: Nothing.
Doctor: Don't you know who the childs father is?
Woman: Yeah, it's Nothing.
Doctor: Oh, I see. He's not such a great guy huh?
Woman: No. You don't understand. I love Nothing!
Doctor: That's great not to be materialistic.
Woman: No, I mean, thank you. I mean the fathers name is Nothing!
Doctor: Listen to me. The father is a very important person in the childs life. The baby should know who the father is. Now tell me, who is the baby's father please?
Woman: Nothing!
Doctor: Ok. But being a single mother is very challenging. Let me get some help for you from....
Woman: I don't want anything! I just want Nothing!
Doctor: .......Hmmmm. Have you been drinking? You know that that is not healthy for the baby don't you?
Woman: Yes I do...I mean, I am NOT drinkging. Please, Can I pleeease just go home now?
Doctor: I suppose so. But when you get home who will be there?
Woman: Nothing.
Doctor: Hmmm. How long have you been Homeless?
Woman: I am NOT Homeless. I LIVE with NOTHING!
Doctor: I believe they still call that Homeless...
Woman: Listen...Can I pleeeease just go home and tell Nothing I have something for him.
Doctor: Ok, ok. You can go, but first I should tell you that ....'you can't get Something for Nothing'.