stoopid joke friday thread, it is friday Options

[futureman]

i saw these two on the IC-ZZL and they made me giggle.....

Three Labrador retrievers one brown, one yellow and one black were sitting in the surgery waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?" The brown lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I @#%$ on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I @#%$ in the middle of my owner's bed." The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the brown lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down." The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?" The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the @#%$ of it When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too." the dejected yellow lab said. The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, postboxes, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away". The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?" The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."





what do you call a boomarang that doesnt come back?

a stick.

[futureman]

couple more...

A blonde and a guy get into an elevator on the way to work. The blonde sighs out loud and say's, "T.G.I.F."

The guy responds by saying, "S.H.I.T."

The blonde is confused and repeats, "T.G.I.F."

The guy again responds by saying, "S.H.I.T."

Puzzled, the blonde feels the need to explain and tells the guy, "Thank God it's Friday!"

The guys shakes his head and replies, "Sorry Honey, it's Thursday."




So this horse walks into to a bar,

the bartender takes one look and says "hey fella, why the long face?"