stoopid joke friday thread, it is friday Options

[futureman]

i saw these two on the IC-ZZL and they made me giggle.....

Three Labrador retrievers one brown, one yellow and one black were sitting in the surgery waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?" The brown lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I @#%$ on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I @#%$ in the middle of my owner's bed." The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the brown lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down." The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?" The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the @#%$ of it When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too." the dejected yellow lab said. The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, postboxes, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away". The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?" The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."





what do you call a boomarang that doesnt come back?

a stick.

[Solidrocker]

i got a few



------------------------------------------------------------------
one day a teacher walks into her classroom and the word penis is written very small on the blackboard, the teacher erases it and goes n with her day.the next day the same word is written on the blkackboard but bigger she erases it and goes on with her day.

this goes on for several weeks until ne day the word takes up the entire blackborad .she erases it and goes on witrh her day. the next day the the teacher walks into the classroom and written in the board is the more you rub it the bigger it gets.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one day a little boy walk in on his mom in the bathtub.l the boy points to his moms bush and says "whats that mommy" the mom doesnt know what to say so she replies " it my sponge honey" the boy seems satified so he leaves. a couple of weeks later the mom has shaved for the bikini season. the boy walks in on his mom once agian and says "wheres your sponge mommy" the mom replies"i lost it honey can u help me find it. the boy says " ok" and walks off the next day the boy runs into his moms room and says " mommy mommy the neighnor lady has ur sponge and shes washing daddys face with it!"


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
a farmer osama bin laden and uncle sam are walking in the dessert one day. they come upon a magic lamp.the rub it and a genie comes out. "u may all have 1 wish each" says the genie. first the farmer says "i wish the land on my farm will be forever fertile so my kids and their kids will always be able to farm. next osama bin laden says " i wish taht there would be a wall fifty miles hifh and a mile thick surronding afghanistan so my people would be safe forever" it is done" said the genie. next uncle sam sits and thinks he thinks and thinks and thinks. then finally he says "fill it with water."