Jokes of the Day Options

[Barkmann]

Military Wisdom:



-Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once

-Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do

-Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you

-When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash

-What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;
If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies





A drunk:


A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car.
'They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator,' he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. 'Never mind,' said the drunk with a hiccup, 'I got in the
backseat by mistake.'


A 70-year-old man and God:



A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''
And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished. He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''
And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!''






This post has been edited by Barkmann: 03/13/07 3:54am