I think i have syphillus, written by Jacob Bednar Options

[The_redeemer]

I think I have syphilis.

"I think I have syphilis.

Can you get syphilis if you havn't had sex? Is it like aids and it just floats around in the air like Japanese KAMIKAZE pilots waiting to dive bomb the hell out of your immune system?

I've got these wierd bumps on my legs, but that isn't the bad part. The bumps have faces. That's not the bad part either. The bad part is that when I put creme on them they start screaming magic spells so I try to silence them but silence has a 30 second cool down and I can't hit them all.

So I went back to the doctor to ask him what I should do, get this, he tells me,"Well sonny you better write blizzard an email telling them to buff mages." I'm like "LOL WTF DUDE?!" And he just stares at me. It was pretty awkward til the nurse walked in and he started having sex with her which provided me with enough time to escape without paying the bill.

Which ultimatly turned out to be a mistake. He got Bobafett, the most feared bounty hunter to chase me down and extract the bill money from me. Well, he tracked me down and he had me corned (after an epic battle of course) and I tell him I have syphilis and I just don't know what to do. He smiled upon me with pitty and told me the following story:

"I AM A BOUNTRRYYYY HUNTOOOR! I AM A BOUNTRYYY HUNTOR! WHEN I AM FLYING AROUND HUTOOORING AND MUST SLEEP WITH ALIEN WHORES I GET STD'S AND IT BE HURRRRTIN! USE THIS CREME!!! IT MAKES MAGICAL!!!!"

So I got the cream from his hand. This sad story delayed my unfortunate demise long enough for Samuel L! Jackson to dive through the window, say "IT'S PARTY TIME NIGGA!" and cut Boba's head off. Then Jengofett picked his head up and started crying. It was pretty sad.

So I turned to Jengofett and said, "LOL!~~!" Jackson gave me a highfive and we went and smoked weed. Well he did, I told him I was straightedge. So he just smoked twice as much. I love that guy. He's really sweet too, he tucked me into bed. Not in a gay Michael Jackson way either. He told me a story until I feel asleep. I would tell you it but I've got to go to sleep."