A little light Humour Options

[Cross of Iron]

A Yank, a Brit and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Brit, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the Brit, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Yank and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."

He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the Brit, "the Yank was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."


This post has been edited by Cross of Iron: 06/01/07 7:24pm

[Shifty]

NIce one.

Here's another one just for you (feel free to sub in kiwi's for Aussies...)



CULTURAL DIFFERENCES EXPLAINED:

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of
themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to
the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be
bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
the anthem.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches,
to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and
basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey,
hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in
every sport they play them in.

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say
in an attempt to get laid.

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor
in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor
in a backwards country.

Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

This post has been edited by Shifty: 06/02/07 2:19am

[Bargod]

You southern hemisphere bigot!!! LOL!!! I'ts only mostly true. The rest isn only mostly not true!!!

[Cross of Iron]

See what yer done now Shifty......yer completely confussed an american.(lets face it ,its not THAT hard to do)....

[Shred and Burn]

Only the English could devise a system of measurement based on the length of a King's thumb, teach the entire civilized world this system, then switch to metric!!

Oh yeah, that pint of beer you want......is 22 ounces !!!!

Haaaaaaa