Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some
sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and
dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped
this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a
"good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt
to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around
his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is
regularly released - and seems to be more than willing
to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got
to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my
every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe for now.............

LMAO Sounds like a cat I used to have...

Not my cat, she just sleeps all day and night...lol...

Guess you broke her spirit!

nope, freed her tuna..