An Open Letter to Mr. SlimShady Options

[|$aucy|]

I don't know what to make of SlimShady's smear tactics. On the one hand, SlimShady's apologues have gotten way out of hand. But on the other hand, yawping academicism has come to occupy a vitriolic place in the national dialogue. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that my long-term goal is to advocate social change through dialogue, passive resistance, and nonviolence. Unfortunately, much remains to be done. As you may have noticed, SlimShady is thoroughly versipellous. When he's among plebeians, SlimShady warms the cockles of their hearts by remonstrating against ethnocentrism. But when SlimShady's safely surrounded by his foot soldiers, he instructs them to undermine liberty in the name of liberty. That type of cunning two-sidedness tells us that SlimShady doesn't care about freedom, as he can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to him. When I first became aware of SlimShady's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I normally prefer to listen than to speak. I would, however, like to remind SlimShady that there are some foolhardy freaks of nature who are shabby. There are also some who are uninformed. Which category does SlimShady fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both". In the immediate years ahead, SlimShady might be diagnosed with a special type of mental illness that is not yet recognized. But for now, be aware that his dupes consider his canards a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of nihilism. I have always assumed that being shielded from the consequences of his bad judgment and bad behavior has made him careless, but the fact of the matter is that his maudlin preoccupation with chauvinism, usually sicklied over with such nonsense words as "saccharogalactorrhea", would make sense if a person's honor were determined strictly by his or her ability to scorn and abjure reason. As that's not the case, we can conclude only that the first lies that he told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; SlimShady's lies will grow until they blot out the sun.

SlimShady's orations are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, this is a free country, and I insist we ought to keep it that way. I want to give people more information about SlimShady, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I indubitably hope people draw: If SlimShady makes fun of me or insults me, I hear it, and it hurts. But I take solace in the fact that I am still able to tackle the multinational death machine that SlimShady is currently constructing. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that if one could get a Ph.D. in Collectivism, he would be the first in line to have one. The only weapons SlimShady has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all he has, and he knows it.

As the oft-repeated saying goes, "People who collaborate with SlimShady and expect SlimShady to show them the same consideration deserve to be left out in the cold". The importance of that saying is that it reminds us that SlimShady's more than rapacious. He's mega-rapacious. In fact, to understand just how rapacious SlimShady is, you first need to realize that when you tell SlimShady's hatchet men that the reservoir from which SlimShady draws his vicegerents is primarily the masses of malodorous fiends, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that he has a strategy. His strategy is to make us too confused, demoralized, and disunited to put up an effective opposition to his pranks. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with SlimShady. I don't mean to condemn anyone's beliefs, but if I were to compile a list of SlimShady's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that the reason SlimShady wants to let down ladders which the choleric, blathering, and unenlightened scramble to climb is that he's utterly pathetic. If you believe you have another explanation for his deranged behavior, then please write and tell me about it. He wants us to believe that he has answers to everything. How stupid does he think we are? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, SlimShady accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does he assert I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept his claim that we ought to worship unsympathetic, irresponsible jerks as folk heroes? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. Finally, any one of the points I made in this letter could be turned into a complete research paper, but the conclusion of each would be the same: SlimShady's values are part and parcel of a larger game plan to deny both our individual and collective responsibility to live in harmony with each other and the world.

[pezking]

*pass the thesarus please*

[Isis]

LMFAO!! Saucy, I love you.

[<Dolphin>*Girl*]

are we talking about {MOB}slimshady... or the rapper? if this is insight into his rapping you tink too much... if its about our slim... you have too much carnal knowlege of him

BTW its silver... not dg

This post has been edited by <Dolphin>*Girl*: 04/21/06 3:48pm

[|$aucy|]

To clear up any discomfiture, the above complaint is meant for none other than the Canadian-dwelling MOB-member; Mr. SlimShady.

[|$aucy|]

LMFAO!! Saucy, I love you.

Dear Isis,

Shakira does not yodel. That is all.

Regards,
Saucy




This post has been edited by |$aucy|: 04/21/06 4:47pm

[Crazy Canuck]

"wtf buffallo bill" as quoted by stiffler!

man you need to get out of your head for a while!!!

[Bargod]

Um, I quit reading after the first paragraph. Let me know when Cliff's notes come out for this.

[Silver]

so why are thinking so much about the psy of slim????? are you THE stalker??? or did manalisa invade your home and take your pc?

[Slimshady]

let me get my thesarus out and give me a couple days cause i'm too busy with exams and i'll have a letter in response.

[Lord Lipton]

Um, I quit reading after the first paragraph. Let me know when Cliff's notes come out for this.

amen to that..

[Big P]

Um, I quit reading after the first paragraph. Let me know when Cliff's notes come out for this.

[|$aucy|]

Simpletons.

[Isis]

LMAO! Saucy, I disagree about Shakira, however I still love you.

[Mr.Scruff]

is slim back and playing yet?