QUOTE(Hellfighter @ 01/18/06 12:47pm)

[Mr.Ever-so smart-ass

].

thanks for the compliment, HF. Check this one out....
One day a priest was talking to his understudy. The priest informs him that he has an important meeting with a bishop & the understudy would need to hear confession & give absolution.
The jr. priest seems worried, as he's never given absolution before. The priest sensing his anguish tells him "Don't worry, there's a card posted in the confessional to help you if you're not sure about something" Jr. replies "Thank you, Father, but I'm nervous about my first time"
Father: "that's understandable, I was nervous my first time in the confessional"
The day comes to hear confessions....
A man walks in to the confessional "Forgive me Father, I have sinned"
Priest jr. : "tell me your sins, son"
man : "I've been engaged in illegal activity, stealing"
Priest looks up theft on the card...
"for you penance, you must recite 10 Our Fathers, bless you"
A woman enters the confessional "Forgive me Father, I have sinned"
Priest "Tell me you sins, my child"
Woman "I have impure thoughts & often use profanity"
Priest "recite 10 Our Fathers & 10 Hail Mary's, bless you my child"
Priest thinks to himself, 'this is kinda easy, I think I can manage this'
Just then a man comes "Forgive me Father, I have sinned"
Priest: "confess your sins, son"
Man "I have been unfaithful to my wife"
priest think's 'alright, now we're getting somewhere' "tell me about your adultry"
man: " have been engaged in sodomy with another woman for several months now, & I feel terrible about this act"
Priest looks at the card....nothing about sodomy listed. He opens the back door to the confessional & calls an alter boy over. "son, there's nothing about sodomy listed on the card that the father left for me. Do you know what father normally gives for this act?
Boy replies "usually two chocolate bars & a coke"