George Carlin's latest:
COWS
"Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington And they tracked her
calves to their stalls. But they are unable to
locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our
country.... Maybe we should give them all a cow."
CONSTITUTION
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was
written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for
over 200 years and we're not using it anymore."
TEN COMMANDMENTS
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten
Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou
Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and
"Thou Shall Not Lie" In a building full of lawyers,
judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work
environment!
And Last but not least.....
George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart
"Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars.
O.J. Simpson , Robert Blake, Mike Tyson, Michael
Jackson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around;
Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in
America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard,
and haul her off to jail."